More like a Feast OF Crow. Who likes the taste of Crow?

We waited five years for this?

Fine, George makes all sorts of apologies and excuses for the lateness of the book. He might have just said that he was afflicted with Jordanitis - a condition affecting writers where they have no idea of how to get to where they want to go (assuming they do know where they want to go) and where they get caught up in enjoying the "sound" of their own "voice" to the detriment of their readers (and their story).

First, go listen to this episode of Michael & Evo's Cover to Cover where you can get the whole story from the horse's (George's) mouth.

On with my take on A Feast for Crows.

Half of this volume, which is Volume 4 Part I (the second half, supposedly titled "A Dance with Dragons" if you listened to the above podcast, is due this year) is wholly unnecessary. There is a huge amount of exposition and backstory and description on secondary, far less interesting characters. Brienne of Tarth getting about a fifth of the book? You have to be kidding me. I skipped most of her chapters because ther were putting me to sleep and NOTHING WAS HAPPENING. Samwell Tarly on a boat? WHO CARES? You could have lopped out everything until he got to Braavos, and even those segments could have been edited down. The deal with the squids could have been abbreviated. Breinne of Tarth? What the HELL! She got more ink than the remaining Starks combined! WHY? Only the Jaime and Cersei parts were tight and paced decently, and formed the only part of A Feast for Crows worth a reader's time.

George, George, George. Why did you foist this glorified doorstop on us? You left two of the most important characters out - Tyrion and Dany. A third, Jon Snow, gets almost no coverage. Everyone in this book is left TALKING about Tyrion, and there's no hide nor hair of him. Dany is the driver of the whole arc, the timepiece if you will. She's nowhere to be seen. Snow is the Lord Commander, fine. So what?

Nothing. Happens.

Sorry George. You almost lost me here. A Dance with Dragons had better pick up the pace and move the story arc along at a decent clip, or I'm going to start calling you Robert Jordan II and this series as A Wheel of Ice, Fire and Time. This was about the spot in WoT (after The Dragon Reborn, which was the high point of WoT - everything after that went sharply downhill) that Jordan took leave of his senses and put the whole story on hold while his characters talked and travelled and preened. Don't make the same mistake.

Borrow this book, read the Cersei, Jaime and Arya chapters, then return it. Nothing else in A Feast for Crows matters.